Strange Vegetables
by SleepingSeeker
Summary: 2k12 'verse. Written for Leorai Week over on Tumblr. Day 1: Tease. (I am so sorry)


OMG - how could I resist LEORAI week!? Okay, so I just typed this up right after work - so forgive me if it's a bit rough. And insane. I don't usually write straight-up humor. But this idea just hit me and I _had_ to. I just...had to! XD

For Leorai Week - Day 1 - _Tease_

**Strange Vegetables**

Donatello's bo came up. The air sang with the motion in a whistling whoosh. He blocked and dipped, a smirk on his face as he swept his leg around. Donatello caught the movement and leapt up in time, panting from exertion as his feet hit the ground.

"Ha! Thought you had me, didn't ya!" Donnie twirled the staff around behind his neck, spun it in one hand and whipped it in a sweeping figure eight as he blocked Leonardo's offensive. "Not so easy to take me down," he panted.

"Good," Leo said. "But your feet aren't braced right for this kata."

Donnie frowned. "What? Yes, they are –"

Leo's elbow popped through the opening granted as Donatello glanced down then back up in time just as he was hit. He brought a leg around to hook Donatello's knee and took his legs out from under him.

He fell back with a grunt and loud protest. "Not fair!" Donnie hollered.

"All's fair in battle. You have to prepare for the unexpected," Leo opened his mouth to go on when his phone buzzed. He lifted a finger to put Donnie on hold.

Twisting, he yanked it from his belt and turned away from Donatello's continued complaints about his tactics. Thumbing the screen, her text message came up. He froze. His eyes scanned the words as heat filled his face.

It wasn't the first text she'd sent him. After meeting on the Byerly Building and escaping from Snakeweed, Leo had met her several nights later. They spent the night talking about nothing. And everything. And as he raced home, his heart was torn in two. He didn't want to disobey Splinter. And yet, he couldn't see what harm he was doing in just talking. But when he saw Splinter later, the deceit began to eat at him. He couldn't do this.

He swore to himself it was done.

But he happened to run into her on a lone run. And then again. He cut these unplanned encounters short, but the last time, she'd asked for him to stay. She told him she'd wanted to talk more, like before. That she enjoyed their little rendezvous. Had missed them.

Without thinking, he immediately rattled off his number.

Later, at home, he convinced himself that he knew all along that there was no way to trace it. Donatello had assured him of it when he'd causally asked just to confirm what he believed.

The texts were playful at first. But lately had become a bit more . . . explicit. Before he could shut off his phone, Donatello jumped him from behind.

"Surprise attack!"

They went down in a heap with Donnie crying in triumph and the phone skittered across the roof top. Leo's eyes went wide as Raph's heel bumped it, as he ducked Mikey's chuck, making it spin.

"What the . . ." He turned and loomed over it.

"Raph! Don't! That's mine!" Leo yelled.

Raph looked up and then kicked the phone back to him. "Heh. Nice move, Donnie."

Donatello grinned and shrugged as he climbed off Leonardo. "Just following your lead. Gotta prepare for the unexpected, right, Leo?" he said with a wry grin as Leo caught the phone and hastily turned off the power before he shoved it back into his belt.

Donatello leaned over. "What did Sensei want?"

"Sensei?"

"Yeah, he just called you," Donnie pointed to the phone.

"N-Nothing," Leo lied.

# # #

The next night, the four were in the midst of a heated game of turtle-tag; racing across the midnight darkened roof tops. The sky hung in quilted clouds, thick and dark. Buzzing with ozone. A bolt of white lightning cut across the sky as one silhouette spanned the space between two buildings followed closely behind by a stockier form.

Leo's breath came in soft, but controlled gasps. Raph was on his shell. He could hear his brother's labored breathing. Could almost feel his fingertips stretched to tag him out. He was on a streak and there was no way Leonardo would give his brother the satisfaction of breaking his string of wins. Leo dug deep. He pumped his legs harder, moving faster. Chest tight, burning.

The phone buzzed.

Without thinking, he pulled it free and thumbed it open. Mind blank, not expecting it to be anyone other than Donatello or Mikey claiming victory over the other. But it wasn't either of his brothers. It was Karai.

No text this time.

Just a photo.

Eyes wide, staring at the screen, his feet suddenly forgot what they were doing. His ankles tangled into one another. He went tumbling head over heels across a gravel-strewn rooftop. Tiny pin-pricks of pain cut through his palms, chin and thighs as he skidded through the sharp rocks until he came to an abrupt halt against the concrete parapet in an ungraceful heap.

Raphael's laughter pelted him as thunder rolled above. He was doubled over, slapping his leg as Leo righted himself.

"Oh, hohho, oh my god, ahahah ah, I-I so wish I caught that on video – ahahah," Raph bellowed. He made an 'okay' sign with finger and thumb. "Woo! A picture of grace, man. That was ahaha, sp-spectacular!"

Face flushed with embarrassment, he scrambled for his phone and shut it off. The lewd image permanently seared into his mind's eye. There was no way Raph could have seen it. Relief cooled some of his shame.

Raph wiped at one eye and guffawed some more as he explained and pantomimed what he'd just seen between bouts of laughter. He was sure he'd have to hear this story replayed a dozen more times to the others. His jaw worked and Leo glowered at Raph as he began picking gravel from his palms, wincing and furious.

This was going to stop.

Later, after the others had turned in, Leo crept into his room, flesh warmed by a hot shower. He attached several bandaids to his forearms and heel of one hand. He turned and sat on the edge of his bed.

The phone sat with his belt on the dresser. He stared at it; picked it up. He decided he'd tell her that if she sent any further inappropriate pictures, he'd have her blocked. He didn't want to have to be so uptight about it, but couldn't risk his brothers finding out about this. He flicked on the phone, moved to start typing when he froze. His brow cocked. He stood up and crossed the room, peeking from his doorway. He glanced around at the empty lair and then quietly closed the door. Swallowing roughly, he thumbed to the image she'd sent earlier. His face heated and his heart skipped. And a devilish idea came to mind.

It was after all, his private property. He had a right to some privacy, didn't he? It's not like anyone would ever need to use his phone for any reason. He continued to reason with himself as a sly smile spread on his face. His body warmed and he bit his lower lip.

"Turnabout is fair play," he murmured and lowered the phone.

# # #

Karai's phone buzzed; rattling it across the surface of the polished table. The alert sounded again and Shredder, irritated that his meal was being interrupted by that infernal vibration, got up, snatched the phone just as Karai returned from the bathroom.

He palmed it and asked her, "How many times have I told you, no phone at the table."

She reached for it with a pout.

He moved to hand it to her when he stopped, considering. "Let's see what was so important that it interrupted my meal." He flipped his thumb over the surface as Karai's eyes widened.

"That's private!"

Shredder's eyes narrowed. He frowned. He turned the screen to one side and peered closer. Then looked from Karai to the screen once more. He grimaced with the effort of trying to comprehend what he was looking at.

"What is . . . is that . . . is that an eggplant?"


End file.
